Jokes SMS



Banta: How is dew formed? Santa: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Banta: How can you delay milk turning sour? Santa: Keep it in the cow.


1 pathan ne jali note banaya orr Quaid-e-azam ki topi bhol gayaJab dukandar ko dia tou dukandar ne kaha:Iski tou topi nahi hay.Pathan Bola:Ye Quaid-e-azam lala ki garmion ki tasveer hay...=P;->

Wife to husband:Uttho raat ke 2 baje he, Husband to wife:Itni raat ko q uthaya Wife to husband:Aapne neend ki goli nahi li .

Santa: Dr.Sahab 2 SalPehle Mujhe Bukhar Aya Tha... Dr:To Ab Kya Hua. Santa: aap ne Nahane ko Mana Kiya Tha Naha Lu?

Santa at bar in New York. A Man says 'Johny Walker single' Another one says 'Peter Scotch single' Santa says 'Santa Singh Married'

Wt s de bigest pressure 4 Pak captain wn Pak neds 1 run 2 win in 8 ovrs,wd 5 wickets in hand? Ya Allah!How 2 speak English in presntaton ceremony?

Santa: Kela kitne ka hay? Kelay wala: 1 rupay ka ek. Santa Ji: Kela 60 paisay ka do gay? Kelay wala: 60 paisay ka Kelay ka chilka milay ga. Santa Ji: Ok! ye lay 40 paise kela mujhe day chilka to rakh.

HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle If 1 punctures, the vehicle can’t move further M0ral: always Keep a SPARE TYRE….

Wife:raat ko ghar me chor aaya or mujhe kiss karke chala gaya. Pati- tumne roka nahi? Wife- bhut kaha tha rukne ke liye, bola fir aaonga.....

American: Hamare desh me war hogaya. Santa: Hamare india me tho roz war hotha hai! American: o kaise? Santa: Somwar. Mangalwar. Budhwar.

Sherni ke ghar waalo ne haathi ka rishta kyon Nahi liya…? socho…? Thoda sa aur socho…socho. ..socho.. . Yaar unke ghar ka aapsi maamla hai, Tumko kya lena dena hai.


husband wife se bola hata lo apne chehre se ye zulfe E jane-e-tamanna khuda kasam agli baar khane me baal aya to SAJNI Se GHAJANI bana dunga.....

Teacher Pathan Se: Batao Allama Iqbal Kaha Peda Huwe oR Unhone Kaha Taleem Hasil Ki? PATHAN : Wo Hospital Men Peda Huwe oR School Men Taleem Hasil Ki, ;-)


1 pathan chilkay sameat kela kha raha tha, kisi ne us ko toka, is ko cheel to lo. pathan bola : chelne ka kia zarorat he humko malum he is K andr kia he.

Banta selling Parashut : Plane se kudo, Button Dabao, Aur aap zamin pe safely land!Custmer : Agar Parashut na khula to?Banta : O G paise wapas.

Newly married couple went to a restuarant.Husband: Darling, now we r just like one person.Wife: It's ok. But don't forget to order lunch for two.

Man; cut my hair short.Barber; how short?man; So short that my wife cannot pull them.

Britsh:Why U Indians r in diffrent Colour? Pappu:Horses R in Diffrent Colour Bt Donkeys R all same!

Chintoo : Aaj maine apni class mein sabse pyaari larki ko phansa li.. Friend : Woh kaisey? Chintoo : “Class lagi thi.. Maine kaghaz ka jahaz bana ke Phainka. Jahaza teacher ke pass chala gaya. Uss ne ghusey se poocha yeh kiss ne phainka? Maine us larki ka naam le liya aur who phans gaye bichari

Santa: Tu office mein toh bada sher bana ghumta hai, ghar par kya ho jata hai? Banta: Hota toh sher hi hoon par DURGA sawar ho jaati hai…

Santa: Tu office mein toh bada sher bana ghumta hai, ghar par kya ho jata hai? Banta: Hota toh sher hi hoon par DURGA sawar ho jaati hai…

Pathan BLOOD Ke bare mein book parh raha tha Wife: Aaj yeh book kyu parh rahe ho ji? Pathan: Mujhe doctor ne kaha hai ke kal mera BLOOD test hai iss liye test ki tayari kar raha hoon.

Naukrani ne malkin se kaha, memsahab gajab ho gaya, pados ki teen auraten aap ki saas ko peet rahi hai. Malkin naukrani ke saath balakani se aayi aur chupchap tamasha dekhne lagi. Naukarani ne poocha, aap madad karne nahi jayengi? Malkin: Nahi uske liye teen hi kaafi hai.

Santa: Main ek baar jungle mein susu karne gaya toh waha per Sher tha. Banta: Phir kya hua? Santa: Maine Sher se kaha, “Pehle tum karlo, mera toh ho gaya hai.”

Two married friends Rahul and Rohan talking on the topic of the married woman, Rahul: Wife ko begum kyun kehte hai? Rohan: Kyuki shaadi ke baad uske saare gum husband ke hisse mein chale jaate hai aur wife begum ho jaati hai…

Movie Director, “Now you have to jump from the 10th floor.” Nervous Actor, “But suppose I got injured or killed?” Director, “Thats the idea, coz its the last scene of the movie.”

Teacher: ‘Hello Boys, Remember.. Nothing is impossible’ One student: ‘Ok sir, U please take out all the toothpaste & put it back in the tube again’


Dr:jab apko pta tha chipkali apke kaan me ghus rahi hai to aap chup Q the?Santa:pahle Cockroach gaya tha to muje laga ki chipkali use pakdne ja rhi thi

Teacher:Can You Spell A Word That Has More Than 100 Letters In It? Santa : Post Office

Interviewer:wat is skeleton..? Santa:Skeleton is a prson who strtd dieting bt forgot to stop it..!

Banta: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?Santa: 10 years and 45 lbs

Munna : Yaar Circuit ,ye gandhiji Har note me haste kuy rehte hai? Circuit:Simple hai bhai! Royenge to note gila ho jaye ga......

Santa: Tumnay new car kb li?Banta: Ek din ek larki mujhey apni car mai bhita kar lay gai, aurkapray utar kar boli jo chahiye lay lo, maine car lay liSanta: Changa keeta kapray ki karnay siiiiii (well done, what you will do with cloths!)

LALU-Rabri tum meri CHAND ho. RABRI-ye ji ...humko CHAND-VAND mat kahiye sasura america bale daily chadhte hai.

Husband: Kal mere khawab main ek larki aye thi.Wah! Kia Larki thee!Wife: Akeli ayee hogi?Husband: Tum ko kese pata?Wife: Uska Husband mere khawab main aya tha!

My dad told me that if Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would be still in Paradise. Why? Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the bloody apple!

Bank Manager- Asks Santa In Interview- Wat Is Cyclone? Santa- It Is Smallest Loan Given To Purchase A Cycle.

Q: What's the definition of irreconcilable differences? A: When she's melting down her wedding ring to cast it into a bullet.

SAM- I woke up this morning & felt like going out & getting a job!PAM- Did u?SAM- No.. I stayed in bed until d feeling passed... ;-)

After eating fish Santa Singh never drinks water!WHY??Coz..He feared that fish will start swimming in his stomach!! ;-)


guest host se- main khana kha raha hoon par ye kutta mujhe kyun dekh raha hai? host- ye kutta apni plate achhi tarah pehchanata hai

mother : i think our dauter is in love . father: how do u know ? mother: she is not asking 4 pocket money.


Boy U r d Sunshine Of My Life ! Without U Life’s Like A Dreamy Cloud ! U r In My Heart Like A Lovely Drizzle In d Sun ! Girl: Now Go Further I’ve 2 Listen More Weather Report

TEACHER:what is the different betweenproblem and challenge????STUDENT:3boys+1girl=problem1boy+3girls=challenge..

soldier-sir we are surrounded by enemies from all the directions. major- excellent! now we can fire in any directions.

Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.

kabhi wafa se pyaar mt krna Q mt karna ? maare jaoge Q maare jaoge ? Qki wafa OSAMA ki .bati ka naam hai....

Husband:Agar mere HatTh Me sarakar ho to Mein Desh ki Taqdir Badal dunga Wife:Tum pahle Apna Payjama Badal Lo Subha se Ulta pehna hua h

Wife saw sign board Banarasi sari 10/- Nylon sari 8/- Coton sari 5/- Wife:Give me Rs.500 I'll buy Hsbnd:Andhi,ye istri ki dukan hai.

Kitne % bhartiyon ko lgta hy k Salman Khan Katrina Kaif se Shadi Krega? Ans:10% bcoz Rest of the 90% wnts to marry Katrina Kaif themself

vo kaun sa dept h jahan aurte kam nahi kar sakti? santa fire bregade. banta vo kyon?? santa kyonki aurto ka kam to aag lagana hota hai. aag bhughana nahi

Girlfrnd: chand kitny hoty hain? Boyfrnd: 2, 1 Tum or 1 wo oper After Meriage Wife: Chand kitne hoty hain? Husband: Anni diye, Nazr nai anda 1 E honda aa..

ßiwi §hohar §y: Aapko Mera ßanaya Hua Halwa Pasand Nai Aaya ßachy To 3 Palaiten kha Çhuky Han Andar §y Awaz Ai Mama 1 Palate Aur Dena 1 kitab ki Jild Reh Gæ Hy

CID - Why criminals leave their finger prints after their crime? Santa - sir, criminals are uneducated. If they are educated, they would leave their signature..

pages:-5